It’s been said that forgiving someone isn’t for them but for you. In life we all experience hurt caused by those who once loved us (or so we thought). Sometimes we have even been the source of the problem.
Lately I’ve been thinking about a few ladies that I’m no longer friends with and the Lord has been dealing with me in the area of forgiveness. I once had an issue with a female and I asked my Pastor if you had to let someone know that you’ve forgiven them or do you just take it to the Lord in prayer and decided in your heart that you’ve forgiven them. I wanted to make sure that I was acting according to how the Lord wants us to act. He answered by telling me that I don’t necessarily have to let the person know that I have forgiven them.
The thing with forgiveness is, it really isn’t about the other person. We all heal in different ways. You may be healed and ready to verbally forgive the person and they may still be hurt and contacting them may re-open the wound. This is why a healthy prayer life is important. Only the Lord can show you the one, true way to go about the forgiveness. Do you think Jesus verbally told every person who mistreated him that he forgave them? No, he just completed the assignment of His Father and died on the cross for all of us. He did his part. He didn’t hold a grudge against any of us although we are all deserving. He didn’t remind us of all the times we hurt Him or the good He did for us.
This is how we as women should also strive to be. We shouldn’t be so quick to judge, to hold grudges, to back bite and bring down. When we’re hurt by a man or woman we should allow that brief human moment to be hurt and then bounce back and move on. It’s gonna be hard at first, but eventually it will become second nature to forgive quickly and let it go. That man that hurt you, is it really worth the added stress of vandalizing his car, going off on him and his new chick or the one he was cheating on you with? That girlfriend who betrayed your friendship, is it really worth holding on to the hurt and dogging her out to anybody that will listen? That family member who didn’t acknowledge your worth, are you going to allow their ignorance to hinder your blessings? There is so much going on in the world around us and life is increasingly becoming too short. Holding on to past hurts only stunts YOUR growth. You invest far too much time and energy into the hurt and it distracts you from growing and walking in your purpose as a child of God.