As a single woman, I have a desire to get married one day. It may very well not be in the cards for me anytime soon (or at all for that matter). During the single seasons I experience I take that time to learn from the failures of my past relationships, as well as, work on making myself a better person. I have in my mind what I think it takes to make a strong foundation of a good mate, whether it is a wife or a girlfriend. One thing that I think is a big NO in a relationship (more importantly a marriage) is casual flirting & non-platonic conversations with people who you have a strong physical attraction to. If you love you mate enough there should be no reason that you should have the desire to flirt with anyone else. Flirt with your mate! Little things like that should be done to keep the spark in your relationship. If your mate isn’t satisfying you on a mental level then why are you still with them. It takes more to satisfy on a non-physical level than it does on a straight sexual level. I was in a relationship with a guy, but there was another guy that I had really strong feelings for. I knew continuing our normal texts would only cause my feelings to grow for him so I let him know that I had a boyfriend and we only contacted each other once every now & then just to say hey and I gave him the same courtesy once I found out that he had a girlfriend. That’s just respect.
The foundation of ANY good relationship (to me):
Clearly, these aren’t the ONLY things required to make a relationship/marriage last. Just a good start and I have a blog for that already. A friend and I were talking the other day and I made the statement that the only thing that really separates a Marriage from a relationship is the paperwork (the license/marriage certificate) and I say this because it started out as a relationship before marriage was even thought of. With that being said I don’t see how people can say that single people can’t discuss marriages and relationships. Only way that holds any truth is if the person has NEVER been in a relationship with anyone.
Another thing that I want to discuss is people staying in unhappy, dysfunctional marriages and relationships just because they have children together. That confuses the living daylight outta me. I guess until I’m actually in that situation (God forbid) I won’t truly understand how a person would rather be unhappy and with a person than to be single with their child/children and be happy. I’m the type of person that would rather struggle & have some form of happiness than to be with a person that either doesn’t wanna be with me or that I’m miserable being around. No sense in putting yourself through that and the kids too. In the long run the kids are the ones that end up getting hurt. You regret having them because they’re the reason you’re staying in the marriage/relationship. I worked with a guy in this situation and he made it known plain & clear that he was only staying with the girl for the sake of their child. He works three jobs & tells her that she doesn’t have to work, but why go through all of that with someone who you say you don’t wanna be with. WHY SETTLE?
Is it ok for a woman to cheat on her husband and he find out & confront her about it but he running around exchanging numbers with other women? Aren’t they both considered a form of cheating, one is just worse than the other? What happened to “forsaking all others” What part of the game is this?
But hey! What do I know? I’m just a 29-year-old, single, black female who’s beginning to believe that she won’t be getting married, but has been told by multiple ex-boyfriends & homies that I will make one hell of a wife……………….ONE DAY!