Love Reign…

LOVE

Today’s blog comes from an extremely happy place….#APlaceCalledLoveland (s/o Raheem DeVaughn lol)

Some of you may know that in my adult life I have been hurt emotionally more times than  I care to remember. I’ve always desired love the way that I’ve given it. I, like many women, have made bad decisions with the men I’ve dated and/or given my body to. Because of this, my faith in love became weak, my heart became cold, and overall I gave up hope in ever experiencing true love the way I envisioned for myself. So I took some time to myself. I didn’t date. I didn’t have a desire to date. I didn’t feel adequate enough to be in a relationship. At the time, I wasn’t working and because of this I had to move back home to my mom’s house and this caused even more “less than” feelings because I no longer felt like an independent adult. I felt like a child again. It was the 1st time going back home since I graduated High School. I felt like it was in my best interest to focus on school, myself, and everything else that I let take a backseat to letting a man cloud my judgement.

So fast forward a few years….

I finished school, got a job, moved back out on my own and silly me, I thought it was okay to get back into the dating scene. BOY WAS I WRONG! Heartache reared it’s ugly head once again. Ok, so I realized what the real problem was; I wasn’t in my word. I wasn’t praying, and I wasn’t in church consistently. Then one day I was invited to attend Sunday service at Christ Church in Fairfield, AL. Now I’m not one to go to just any and every church that I’m invited to, but I did begin praying to find a church home. So I went and from day one I knew it was the church for me.

Ok, fast forward again a couple more years ( I can be long winded….sorry in advance)….

I’m in church real heavy, I’m serving in multiple ministries, praying more, reading my word, fasting….the whole nine. Was I perfect? No! Was I a “Jesus Freak?” No! Did I know the Bible word for word? No! But I was becoming nicer, more loving, more aware of self. My heart began to soften. I fell in love with God again and that in turn made me fall in love with myself again. I truly believe that you can’t properly love another person until you learn to love yourself first.

FINALLY….Here we are in 2015…Quick re-cap of 2009 until now is complete.

I formed a new relationship with myself and with God. There were still trials and tests. I lost two jobs and housing during those years but I was able to fight better because I knew who I had in the ring with me. God was always by my side even when I was too foolish to tag him in. One thing my pastor made me realize is that when Jesus died on the cross He quipped us with everything we will ever need to win any battle we enter in to.

September 2015…I attended the wedding of a young couple from our church. Their love story is simple yet beautiful. I came home from witnessing their union and I sat down and wrote out a prayer (an extremely detailed prayer) for my future husband and in that prayer I asked God to equip me to be what I needed to be in order to be prepared for when He sends my mate. Well, it was only a few weeks later that my unorthodox love story would begin.

I have an account on a free dating website. I didn’t create the account with any intentions of “finding love.” I consider myself to be old fashion and traditional when it comes to these things but I was bored and wanted to see what the fuss was about. I guess the Lord said, “she loves being on that phone and playing on social media so this is how I’ll reach her.” Only THREE months in and he treats me like the Queen I am. All the things other men thought they were too manly or too good to do, he does. Everything about us clicks perfectly. We communicate like best friends. We respect each other’s minds, bodies, goals, lifestyles, etc. WE pray for and with each other DAILY. We support each other, we make each other smile constantly all day every day. We rarely argue or fight. We know how to effectively compromise. We build each other up, we protect each other, we push each other to become better separately and together.

As unorthodox as I feel our “how we met” story is, I’m grateful that God turned my life around and put me in a place to be open to receive what He had in store for me. Between him and God my faith in love has been restored. I’m not 100% sure what the future holds for us (I mean who would be after 3 months?!?!) but I will continue to enjoy the now. I will continue to pray and have faith that greater is coming.

I’ll leave you with something that I read on a friend’s #TestimonyTuesday today

“…On the other side of fire, there is favor…”

-Matthew Crowder-

One thought on “Love Reign…

  1. OsJourney says:

    Beautifully written, every word flows so well in and out of each strategically placed thought,
    the story unfolds effortlessly and instantly you grab the attention of your audience without aggression
    but with suttle and fragile intimate details concerning your history with men
    and the love you received from them
    and the lack there of,
    which so many other woman can relate to,
    an epidemic of undeveloped Men turning Queens like yourself
    into a state of disbelief in matters that concern the heart, the description of your emotional state
    which you profoundly termed as inadequate
    or having a feeling of “Less Than”
    was so appropriate in capturing the character you painted in the blog
    which is undoubtedly also the writter and narrator.
    I was drawn right in
    from each time line as you moved forward into the present future
    i could see each statge of your development visually
    from consumption to birth, and now you have this beautiful new born (Love)
    the labor is over and life can begin to take form and the options our endless.
    Now lets help it grow.
    Absolutely loved this piece Jocelyn
    You’re an amazing writer babe.
    You did it.
    Os Journey

    Like

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