Fruition

It’s 2019! Wow! Another year as quickly passed and we’re off to another anxiously waiting to see if it’s better than the year or years passed. Everywhere you scroll people are posting about what (or who) they’re leaving in 2018 and all these “resolutions” they plan to accomplish in 2019.

Sidebar:

As some of you may know; my 2018 had the worst start ever due to my apartment being broken into. That whole process was overwhelming and disheartening. My year continued to spiral outta control with not 3 but a total of 5 job changes before I got to the job that I’m at now which is literally a perfect fit & prayer answered (Hab 2:2). I still struggled with feelings and the soul tie with my ex, but God sent someone to help me reach another level of healing with that (thanks #SoldierBae 😉) but even that situation had its learning curves. Overall, 2018 turned from lemons to lemonade.

Ok back to my main point…

Me personally: I prefer to reflect and set goals as I see fit throughout the year. It’s nice to start at the top of the year with things so I’m not knocking it. A new year feels like a new, clean slate so I get it.

I started trying to implement my new routines and plan new things back in November. All I want to do in this new year is become more consistent in my spiritual walk, continue to heal emotionally and become more stable financially. The Lord has been on me pretty hard about that C word and I’ve been the usual hard headed and stubborn child. Really lazy to be exact. I don’t know why I find it so hard to pray daily or read my word daily but I struggle with both. I’m human I don’t make excuses for the behavior because whenever I do have my consistent days or weeks I’m operating at my highest self and encounter far less problems.

That alone should be enough to make me stick to it right?

Unfortunately for me at this stage in life it’s not. I am extremely consistent with attending church and at least reading the verse of the day on my bible app but that’s about it 😔

But this year MUST be different. God has already given me visions & ideas for events for Women of Purpose so I know it’s critical that I stay connected to Him more than usual because I’m scared of these events manifesting. All the “what if” questions have made their rounds in my head but I’ve quickly blocked them out and kept on planning as if it’s already done.

Fruition is my word for 2019. I’m consciously striving to see God’s promises manifest in my life or at least the lives of those connected to me. I sent out a lot of Happy New Year texts to friends & loved ones today and just simply said whatever God led me to say to them and some of the responses (and even my initial message) had me choked up a little. Even in that moment I heard God speak to me and tell me that I need to get more comfortable building people up and getting positive feedback from others because it’s vital to where He’s taking me in this season. For far too long I’ve been stagnant and inconsistent and God is tired of having to wait on me in order to bless me. Quite frankly I’m now tired of waiting on me too. Life comes at you fast. There is so much for me to see and do and time isn’t going to wait on me to get it together.

So here’s a lil pep talk I’ve given myself today and you should take heed to it too:

  • Stop admiring the go getters you see on social media and start making it your reality too. The spirit of comparison will rob you of your joy. You have ever right to have nice things and travel the world too.
  • Stop doubting yourself and thinking you’re not qualified to do the things you KNOW God has called you to do. The mere fact that the idea crossed your mind for that business, book, event, etc is evidence that He’s calling YOU to it and once He’s plants the seed in your mind He WILL provide provision for it to bear fruit as long as you take the leap of faith to get the ball rolling. He’s not going to do all the work.
  • It doesn’t take a ton of money and knowing a lot of important people to make things happen. It just takes you making the first step and being totally dependent on God to keep you from falling and catch you if you do. Remember Peter walked on water and long as he kept his eyes on Jesus. He didn’t start to sink until he began to focus on the storm (his circumstances and surroundings).

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