Like most of us, the global pandemic that still is COVID-19 flipped all our lives upside down. You see, before this new norm I was thriving in a sense. I had a stable job, I was becoming more emotionally whole, increasing my credit score and becoming more physically healthy.
January 2020 arrived and like anybody else, I was excited about a new year and the new opportunities & blessings that it had in store. Unfortunately for me that brought about a devastating loss to my family with the loss of one of my favorite aunts. While navigating this loss and the grief that came with it, Miss Rona touched down in the U.S. and brought about a lot more unexpected changes to life as I knew it. Work was now done from home (thank God for remaining employed the whole pandemic), we couldn’t leave home to do anything except to get groceries, spending time with family and loved ones was no more and getting on a plane was about as risky as jumping out of one.
This pandemic also meant that taking the 1st step in my journey to becoming an entrepreneur would have a roadblock thrown at it. Being stuck at home around the clock brought waves of emotions and feelings of loneliness and isolation and for a brief moment it got the best of me and I reached out to my biggest regret and made an even bigger mistake. My 1st pandemic birthday did bring about a positive new experience with my 1st trip out the country for a much needed yet COVID friendly vacation to Mexico with one of my closest friends. I ended up having to fly solo with out her but Hurricane Zeta made sure to keep company my first night alone in our room with intermittent power on the resort. Thank God for protection, grace and mercy. With this new year of life, things began to make a turn for the better and my year ended far better than it started. I ended it with one of my biggest accomplishments to date and purchased my 1st home.
In 2021, some things began to open up and life almost felt like it was going back to normal. I was adjusting to life as a homeowner, work was still going well, I was able to take my mom out the country and provide her an unforgettable experience along with her 1st passport stamp and that was the best birthday gift to myself. I lived life more because of this pandemic hasn’t taught me anything else, it’s taught me how precious life is. I launched my online store, I made more memories with those that mean the most to me. I invested more time, emotions & energy into things that truly mattered and although I ended the year recovering from a broken toe and contracting COVID, it was one of the best years ever for reasons money can’t buy. It was also an eye opening year, I realized that I’d lost my passion for writing, growing a successful business, becoming more financially stable and walking closer with God.
You see, sometimes we get the very things we prayed so hard for and get so caught up enjoying the blessing that we forget the one who blessed us and tread a thin line in replacing it as our God and that can be dangerous especially when you do it unconsciously. Being humbled by God instead of voluntarily remaining humbled teaches you a lesson that you’ll never forget.
I ran up a mountain of debt living life to the fullest causing my credit score to take a nasty hit, my bills began to outweigh my income coming in, I gained 30lbs, stopped praying & reading my devotions as much and regular tithing was pretty much a figment of my imagination. That new business took a backseat to all of life’s issues and I went months without sales and didn’t care to do anything about it. I knew then I had to snap out of it and get it together so I found a new church home and got connected. One of my best friends gifted me something like a scholarship for my pastor’s healing academy which allowed me to meet new people, get new encouragement & draw new motivation to peel back another layer and become a better me.
Now here we are in quarter two of 2022 and after hearing Pastor Mike Jr preach for Easter Sunday, I finally got my fire back. I’ve listened to the sermon about 3 times and it’s only been 2 days since he preached it. I was laying down to go to bed and God literally dropped this blog in my spirit and I wanted to continue to lay here with my eye mask on and drift off to sleep because the 5am alarm for me to get ready for the gym would be ringing before I know it and the longer I laid there the more the words flowed in my mind.
During the service Sunday, PMJ said, If you’re empty it’s because you wanna be. Boy oh boy! did that resonate with me. You see the truth of the matter is, all the less than great things that I previously mentioned were all a result of my own poor choices & procrastination and it was time to stop wallowing in self pity & doubt and take back the thriving life that I was beginning to live. The life I prayed for….The life God created me to live…The life I deserve…The life the devil tries to steal from me.
I’m back in the gym and doing better than ever, I’m getting stronger & more disciplined in this area causing me to not struggle with the pain of my bulging disc and reclaim the body I know and love. I told myself that if I can focus on one thing at a time & get disciplined in one thing at a time then I can overcome anything. This week I’ve focused on trying to get disciplined with my brand & my online store hence this blog tonight. God used an old church member to send me info about small business grants which is the very thing that I’ve been attempting to research because funding is the Achilles heel of running my business and using my personal expenses for this addition to monthly necessities & desires has drained my excess money dry. I’ve been focusing more on thinking/manifesting the things I desire most and silent prayers to God about them while putting in the works to achieve it because we all know that faith without works is dead. When I look at myself now, I see ME again. I see the women who was finally discovering her purpose resurrecting from the ashes like a Phoenix. I’m speaking Life into my creativity, my future love & my overall life.
In closing, I will leave you with these affirmations:
- Everything I need comes to me at the perfect time.
- I am confident that things will get better, even if I’m not sure how or when.
- I release past versions of me that no longer reflect who I am.
- I create the life I dream of while being grateful for the one I have now.